


The Things we do for Love

by Stephen_Holmes



Category: The Flash (TV 2014), The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: Eobard Thawne doesnt really exist, F/M, Female Barry Allen, Kind of AU, Lizzy Allen, kind of heartbreaking, the kind of love that breaks your heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-25 21:30:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12044664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stephen_Holmes/pseuds/Stephen_Holmes
Summary: The first Harrison Wells, Lizzy Allen met was actually an imposter named Eobard Thawne, who killed her mother. Right?Wrong.An AU that explores a world where Barry is a woman, Eobard Thawne is simply a construct of a desperate man, and Harrison Wells is a desperate man trying to save the woman he loves.





	The Things we do for Love

**Author's Note:**

> So. . . Things that are different -  
> Eddie never gets the idea of killing himself to stop Wells.  
> Harrison Wells is a man deeply in love.

The first time he saw her, standing in that room with a hundred other people, it was all he could do to not whisk her away. It had been so long since he had seen her – adult her. He had kept an eye on young Liz Allen. How could he not, when he had given up everything he held dear, just to give her a chance to live.

But to be fair, what did he hold more dear than her?

She was just as excited as him that night, just as eager. Of course, they were both expecting different outcomes to the night – she was looking forward to the particle accelerator. He was looking forward to finally meeting her.

But in that moment, he let none of those thoughts tarnish his joy, his victory. He gazed at her as he remembered holding her in his arms, fighting her, kissing her, dancing with her, marrying her. They had lived an entire life together, they had loved each other, and now she remembered none of that.

She looked away, and he stumbled over his words momentarily. She ran after something and his nails dug into his palm as he tried to keep himself from chasing her.

Wasn’t that the story of his life? Chasing Lizzy Allen.

 

Two weeks later, she was in a coma and he was in a wheelchair, waiting for his speed-force to heal him. There was a time when this would have happened instantaneously, but he had paid a heavy price for coming back in time to save her. His powers were diminished, but they would return.

 

Nine months later, he wheeled into the medical bay in his now useless wheelchair. She stood there naked and unaware, and he could remember a time when he had been free to run his fingers over her, when he could hold her, love her, and make her his.

Now though, he was just Dr. Wells, not Harrison, not Harry, not hers. And she was just Lizzy Allen. Not Lizzy Allen-Wells.

He forced himself to meet her mortified gaze. This was about her, not him. His story was meant to be a tragedy. He would perish but she, she would live.

Elizabeth Nora Allen would live.

That was all that mattered.

 

Whenever he closed his eyes, he could remember all the times he had tried and failed to achieve that simple objective. He could remember the original timeline, he remembered how happy they had been, how insanely in love. Then Zoom had shown up, and Lizzy had dropped everything to chase after him. He had tried to reason with her, and when he failed, he had stood by her. How could he blame her, when her entire life had been destroyed because of Zoom? How could he stop her when Zoom had murdered her mother and sentenced her father to prison?

Looking back, Harrison wondered why he hadn’t simply run away with her. He had been faster than her, stronger than her, and most importantly, she wouldn’t have fought him. He could have kept them both safe and happy, forever.

But then again, Lizzy Allen would always find a way to make him give into her.

He could still remember how she had fallen, cold and still. He remembered how he hadn’t been fast enough to stop that one attack, how he had held her limp body in his trembling arms. The way his heart had shattered. The way his cry had echoed endlessly through the deafening silence.

_Lizzy!_

Zoom had tortured him for months, hoping to force him into giving up his speed force. But Harrison had known that his speed force was the one thing that would let him save Lizzy, and he had held fast.

One night he escaped, and ran like his life depended on it. In so many ways, it did.

He emerged just in time to stop Zoom from killing Lizzy’s mother. He merged with the Harrison Wells of that time, and when he met Lizzy fifteen years later, he let things happen exactly the way they had last time.

They fell in love, got married, even had a child together.

But then Zoom came back and killed her all over again.

Over and over, endlessly, looping over infinity, Harrison found her, loved her and lost her.

Until the one time she accidently mistook him for her mother’s murderer and fought him. Zoom showed up much later that time.

Suddenly he understood.

It didn’t matter which speedster Lizzy Allen fought. All that mattered was that she fought the speedster that killed her mother.

So he made the decision to be that speedster. She would fight him, not Zoom. She would hate him, not Zoom.

And she would win, because he would let her.

She would live.

She had fought him that night, trying to stop him from destroying their future together. Trying to stop him from losing her.

But he had always been one step ahead of her. She had believed that he was going to attack her and she had protected herself.

He killed Nora Allen.

Harrison could still remember the panic, the fear, the sorrow that had overtaken her features as she had faded away, turning to air within his desperate hold.

He threw up twenty meters from her house.

This time, there would be no future filled with love, no breathless wedding vows, no house full of laughter and joy. This time he wouldn’t have the pleasure of being the man she loved, the man who got to wake up to her brilliant smile every morning.

He had paid that price gladly. If his sorrow, his loss would give her joy, give her the life she had always wanted, the life she so rightfully deserved, he would sacrifice it all in a heartbeat.

Always.

 

_“I think I want a white picket fence.” Lizzy mused, her fingers tracing patterns over his naked chest._

_“Hmmm?” He looked down at her with a gentle smile._

_She smiled back._

_“A picket fence and a dog. We’ll call him Olly.”_

_“Oliver Queen will not appreciate that.” Harrison laughed._

_She grinned, “Well maybe Sherlock then.”_

_He kissed the top of her head._

_“I also want grandchildren. Lots of them.” She continued, and Harrison paid attention. He had vowed to make her dreams come true, and he would._

_“But do you know what I want the most Harry?” she looked up at him with those big eyes and his breath caught in his throat. She was so damn beautiful._

_He shook his head silently._

_“I want to be able to look over and see you by my side, old and wrinkly but undoubtedly mine.” She kissed his shoulder and gazed at him with her warm brown eyes filled with love and Harrison couldn’t breathe._

_He couldn’t think, he couldn’t speak._

_She was all he had ever wanted. He didn’t think it was possible to ever love someone so much it hurt._

_He loved her so much more than that._

_His hand clenched around her hip and he hoped his eyes conveyed his feelings, because his words had failed him._

_She smiled, and he knew she had understood, because she was his Lizzy and she knew him better than anyone else._

_He flipped them over and captured her lips with his own, kissing her with all his love. He pulled back and smirked at the dazed look in her eye._

_“Let’s start working towards those grandchildren then, shall we?” He smirked mischievously and her laughter echoed through their home._

 

“Dr. Wells?” her voice called out as he wheeled into the cortex and snapped him out of his memories.

He saw her smiling at him and forced himself to smile back, even though his heart felt like it would never be whole again.

“Cisco needs your help.” He nodded in reply unable to speak around the lump in his throat because she was so much like his Lizzy. She was his Lizzy. He loved her, he loved her so damn much.

But he would lose her, and this time it would be forever.

His nails dug into his fingers as he exhaled raggedly. He didn’t want that. He wanted to love her again. He wanted her love again.

But above all he wanted her to get that picket fence and that dog named Sherlock. He wouldn’t be by her side, but someone else would. Someone who loved her just as deeply as he did. Someone who would father her children.

His gut twisted at the thought, and the lump in his throat became unbearable.

_He loved her. He loved her. He loved her._

But he valued her life over his own. He had a part to play and by god he would play it well. Harrison Wells would be nothing more to her than the man who had murdered her mother.

He swallowed the cry that built up in his throat.

She would live. She would love. She would be happy.

“Are you okay?” Her soft hand was on his shoulder and her eyes gazed at him with so much concern.

His heart clenched.

“I’m alright Lizzy, don’t worry about it.” he smiled back at her, and unable to resist it, pressed a soft kiss to her fingers.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

He couldn’t let her fall in love with him this time. If she did, all he would do is hurt her. He had to keep his distance.

He was the villain in this story.

The hero could not fall for the villain.

He wouldn’t allow it.

 

“My name, is Eobard Thawne.”

Harrison didn’t know why he said it. He supposed some selfish part of him couldn’t bear the thought of her, of his Lizzy, cursing his name forever.

“Why!?” she cried out agonized and he bit his tongue.

Why did she always have to make it so difficult?

“I’m trying to get home and I need you to do that.” He said instead, his voice rasping as the full weight of his emotions overwhelmed him. "In so many ways, my being here has made all your lives infinitely better."

She would hate him forever.

He had lost her.

“Fight me! Come and face me!” she screamed and even as his heart broke a little more, his mind was at peace.

Those were the exact words she had said to Zoom, every time she died. This time she would live.

“We will fight Lizzy. I promise you. Very soon.” He made sure to enter an evil cackle to complete his façade before cutting the call.

His face turned ashen.

This was it.

 

As he faced Lizzy Allen in all her fury, Harrison wondered if there would ever be a time he wouldn’t find her breathtakingly beautiful. He wouldn’t – no couldn’t – fight her. Instead he blocked her attacks, and pushed her away.

“Fight me!” she screamed again and he knew the time had come.

The script had been followed to perfection.

This was when Zoom killed her. Every. Single. Time. His eyes trailed over to the spot where he had been cursed to stand helplessly, as he watched her die over and over again.

Now, Cisco stood there. He wondered if that was a hint to her future. If it was, he was glad. Cisco was a good man, he would love her and keep her happy.

Her arm vibrated as it hurtled towards him and as he stood awaiting death at the hands of the only woman he had ever loved, Harrison realized that he was ready.

He was ready to die.

For a moment he was tempted to reset time again and fall in love with her all over again. Then again, he had only ever fallen in love with her once. He had simply never stopped loving her. A world without her by his side, wasn’t a world he would ever want to live in. If he lived today, she would not.

That was unacceptable.

Time slowed down as her hand moved inch by torturous inch towards his heart and Harrison wondered if she would ever remember the times she had laid her head upon that very spot, falling asleep to the very heartbeat she would today stop forever.

His mask was off, he was glad. For whatever twisted reason, he wanted her seeing his face to be the last thing he saw.

Her hand was an inch away and Harrison could no longer restrain himself.

_“Darling_ ”, the endearment he had spent several lifetimes calling her, rolled off his tongue thoughtlessly, and Harrison saw her eyes widen in surprise.

He remembered her on their wedding day, laughing and happy, her arm tucked away securely in his own. He remembered dancing with her, whenever she felt especially silly and loving the feel of her against him. He remembered pressing her into the mattress as they made love, and then holding her against him as she slept. He remembered the smell of her hair, the warmth of her skin, the beauty in her smile. He remembered every variation of those memories through the hundreds of timelines in which he had loved her, and lost her.

Now though, she would live. She would survive tonight.

His work was done.

“Darling,” he gasped out as her hand finally pierced his skin and the pain overtook him.

She would live.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment!


End file.
